The First Marks of a Messy Drawing

a poe-umm

The Messy Drawing, 10/3/2020, graphite pencil on sketchbook paper. The paper became crumpled in the sketching process, sometimes that happens, not all the time, just sometimes.

Night, wanderings—autumn wind.
The first marks of a messy drawing, an
Improvisation. Dark sunrise, Tanglewood, 
with the flight of birds from the trees.
The aftermath of times,
and we grow into unknown rooms.
Sometimes, you need to make a black square
to fill a gap, patch a hole, or 
cover up something damaged 
or not quite right.
The mess I made—not yet finished.
Must it be? It must be!
I was going with the flow until I didn’t; 
the story of my life—Here, there be dragons.
The wind is blowing tonight (again.)
There are ghosts in the howling 
gusts through the tree branches.
Trespassers William and
different stars—wanderings—
a blue moon, the birds flying away.
More wandering, sleep, going with the flow,
fetch the bolt cutters
an unusual way out.
The cracks, the storm,
a Brahms night.
That’s the way it was—
a dark and stormy night.
November is asserting itself.
The crescent moon, the wind atlas.
A sketchy start; the wind—yes, yes,
by now, everyone knows it’s Windy.
Starry, starry night, the sky wanderer
Orion, hunting with Diana,
ripples in ice, December rain, and snow
The fountain of life—to live on.
Maps of the tacit, updraft, the waves, 
and tomorrow, stars like dust, 
wind and night rain—the mountain, 
the ride, the eve of a New Year.

Inspiration often has multiple layers that mesh together to become one thing. I made another poe-umm using random words and titles from my sketches.

This time, I went to the 2020 sketchbook folder, back when all this nightly sketching started. During the early days of the pandemic, I started to sketch every night before bedtime to help me to relax. It did help re-align my focus, thankfully, taking me away from doomscrolling.

I never approached the blank page with an image in mind; I would start with a random mark, and the rest that followed were intuitive. I wanted to make marks and follow them wherever they would go. Sometimes, they started with wild scribbling (some of these were intense and multi-layered that I would eventually title Scribble Fest—it depended on my stress level, but eventually, it is just fun to wantonly scribble and make a complete mess.

I started to look for all my sketchbooks that still had blank pages to fill. It didn’t take long for me to fill them, so I started to go through the new sketchbooks I had tucked away for “someday.” Soon enough, I had to start buying new ones. I have no idea if I will always do them; I think I’ve only missed a sketch once or twice. I do enjoy doing them; it keeps me working on something when I’m not in the middle of a larger project.

The titles of the sketches' often reflect whatever is on my mind that night. It could be anything: a book title, a song, an album, the weather, a random word that I had bouncing around inside my brain all day, or a random word I’ve picked out of a book by opening a random page and picking one. This poe-umm has a multitude of references, inspirations, or day-to-day events. References to my novel Dusty Waters (Tanglewood and ghosts.)

The Fractured Hues of White Light reference, Beethoven’s String Quartet, op. 135 in F major, Must it be? It must be! ["Muß es sein?" - "Es muss sein!"]

Image from Beethoven-Haus Bonn digital archive

The main character, Samantha Ryder, loved listening to Beethoven while she worked in her studio, and this particular piece was a favorite.

It also references a poe-umm I wrote titled Here, There Be Dragons. I don’t think I’ve posted it here yet because I’m not completely happy with it, and once I turn my attention to it again, I will get it “as ready for prime time” as I possibly can…maybe, we’ll see.

I have a vague reference to Virginia Woolf’s The Waves, and my thoughts wandered into John Cowper Powys’ novels. His main characters tend to be wanderers. I have been a wanderer in the many ways one can wander, and my pencil wanders over the page to make sketches.

This poe-umm has several musical references; “and tomorrow” was originally written as Agus Amàrach (Celtic for “and tomorrow.”) However, I found the pronunciation impossible to achieve for reading aloud, so I reverted to the English translation. Agus Amàrach is the title of an EP by the Boston goth band Mistle Thrush, which I was listening to at the time; Stars Like Dust is a song from that EP.

Trespasser’s William and Different Stars, band and title of album and song.

Maps of Tacit is the title of an album by Shannon Wright

Starry, Starry Night is, of course, Don McLean’s song, Vincent

Brahms Night is about an evening in which I was listening to Brahms Intermezzi, Opus 117.

I brought home this CD of music from my parents’ house; they enjoyed listening to it, and I was glad to have it to remind me of them.

Unknown Rooms is an album by Chelsea Wolf

Fetch the Bolt Cutters, an album by Fiona Apple

Wind Atlas is a band I discovered while looking for something else, and I have become hooked.

Everyone knows it’s Windy (song lyrics from the song Windy by the

Association)

The Ride is a song by Amanda Palmer from her album There Will Be No Intermission.

The Orion reference is to an old poe-umm I wrote a long time ago about the constellation and a sleepless woman walking in the snow in the middle of the night, imagining he is her companion. This eventually became a short story and a piece in a novel about Elly Dean and her wanderings that I have yet to finish.

Without getting deep into the weeds of what has happened the last few days in our nation’s capital, I’ll let Heather Cox Richardson give you the nitty-gritty lowdown of what’s what…it hurts my brain and it hurts my heart...I’m not thrilled that there are people using our Constitution and Bill of Rights to wipe their asses, it’s not only wrong, it’s illegal—but that’s just my opinion from my size 6 1/2’s. I’m sure there are people who think this is necessary. History will judge this time someday, and history is, of course, written by the victors.

Oy, happy thoughts, right?

On a lighter note…I always try to end with something gentle.

Tedward, after reading Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, became fascinated with maps of the world, and I gave him an old Rand McNally to look through. We went into the living room with it, and he invited his teddy bear friends to look at the book, too. Godzilla stepped in to lecture about the world as he knew it and to let them know that what his character does in the movies is only a story, he never chewed on a train full of people, knocked down buildings, or set fire to any cities, none of it happened in real life, it’s only pretend. (He’s a really cool guy.) We recently watched Godzilla -1 and it was awesome, he’s very scary.

And of course, Elizabeth…

Saturday morning, -2 degrees, but no worries, she tested positive for “toasty warm” inside her winter blanket!

Be extra good to yourselves, follow your bliss, and find joy.

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